Narcissists frequently create an environment that makes it uncomfortable for you to connect with the people you love and care about. For instance, I spoke with a woman whose husband was so harsh and caustic toward her family of origin that she revealed it had been eleven years since her brother or sister had come to her house. They felt unwelcome due to the controlling nature of her husband. Imagine living within a two-mile radius of your own adult siblings, yet they won’t come to visit because they fear the toxic atmosphere. This kind of ongoing isolation is a serious indicator that you may need to reconsider your relationship.
3. Constant Haranguing
Many times, narcissists have a history of ridiculing you or harassing you with harsh and critical words. They often express disdain for your interests, make fun of your hobbies, and belittle your family and friends. You might hear them say sarcastic remarks that imply a high level of superiority and disdain. Being on the receiving end of this kind of communication can create a toxic environment where you feel constantly belittled and unappreciated.
4. Contempt
When you’re in the presence of a narcissist, you may realize that it’s not just disagreement that you’re facing; it’s a sense of disgust directed at you. This contempt can be profoundly damaging, making you question whether they truly care about you. You might wonder if they harbor hatred or simply hold you in such low regard that your feelings and needs are irrelevant. When contempt is a persistent ingredient in your relationship, it may be time for you to say goodbye.
5. Divided Loyalties
In any healthy relationship, you should feel a sense of connectedness and shared loyalty. However, in a relationship with a narcissist, you may find that they do not reciprocate that loyalty. They might prioritize their own interests—such as substance abuse or even engaging in extramarital affairs—over their commitment to you. This creates divided loyalties, which can leave you feeling isolated and unvalued. For example, I’ve seen situations where one partner is so tied to their family that it disrupts the marital relationship, leading to further complications.
6. Ongoing Keeping of Secrets
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