You may want to apply for a job, have a relationship, or make any move, but because of their programming, triangulation, and betrayal, you will think a thousand times before acting. Why? Because you’re unsure of yourself. You don’t know if you have it when you technically have the skills, when you are an eligible candidate for that job, but you still feel unworthy. You are convinced that the friendship you are trying to establish won’t work. Trusting others and trusting yourself becomes a huge challenge. You develop persecutory paranoia, which means you feel you will get attacked by anyone at any time. You feel unsafe in this world, which might further isolate you. You may, for example, take a remote job that doesn’t require you to interact with others, stop going out, or even develop agoraphobia. You may hate going deep with people for the right reasons. These are all symptoms of betrayal trauma.
They Follow a Protocol
The protocol: “I came, I saw, I conquered.” This shows how predatory they are. They don’t see you as a human being; they see you as an obstacle, a thing to be taken advantage of and then discarded. I say it all the time—they see you as a means to an end, a way to achieve their goal. You are nothing but a function, a set of things you do for them. When you stop doing that, when you can no longer perform, you become their enemy. Somebody told me, “You are as good as your last mistake to a narcissist,” and that was such a spot-on way of putting how delusional and performance-based everything is with them.
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