And the reality is people who are seen as being too strong by the narcissist are indeed individuals who are not easily swayed by others. They’re confident, boundaried, self-reliant, and clear individuals who are emotionally intelligent and personally developed enough to be living sovereign lives independent of the opinion of others, not least of which the opinions of the narcissist. The narcissist’s opinion of them or anything else, for that matter, doesn’t even register on the radar for a fully empowered person. Fully empowered humans think for themselves, act for themselves, feel for themselves, discern for themselves, fully trust themselves, and therefore, rely on their own good judgment. In addition, they tend to be grounded in their own good opinion of themselves, as opposed
to going through life seeking approval and validation from the outside world. And needless to say, this level of personal empowerment is not only problematic but highly triggering for the narcissist.
Now, with all of that said, once the narcissist is triggered by your strength, confidence, courage, and personal power, in addition to discrediting and smearing you to others, the narcissist will also jump at every opportunity to knock you down a peg or two. They’ll happily point out any mistakes, flaws, failings, or perceived shortcomings, lest you think too highly of yourself, feel good about yourself in any way, or again, God forbid, anyone else sees you in a favorable light. They don’t like that. They’ll also hold your history and past mistakes you’ve made over your head with a bizarre sense of glee. This is just one more tactic they’ll use to undermine your sense of self-worth and self-esteem. They’ll take great delight in literally holding your past against you, no matter how much work you’ve done, no matter how far you’ve come, no matter how much you’ve grown or how much you may have changed in the years or decades since.
Anything they can latch onto and run with can and will be used against you. They’ll also take great pleasure in honing in on any vulnerabilities with deliberate intent to cause you to second-guess yourself, doubt yourself, and again, question your worth. In other words, they will deliberately manufacture and then amplify any feelings of guilt, shame, fear, inadequacy, and insecurity within you for no other reason than to keep you in line and feeling inferior when in reality, it’s their own deeply buried, disowned feelings of inferiority that drive all of this nonsense. And unless you’ve been on the receiving end of this sort of emotional and psychological abuse, it can be pretty difficult to fathom that people can be this kind of cruel for no other reason than their own fear, shame, and insecurities have been triggered. But I assure you, it happens every day, all day long in narcissistic families, marriages, and other toxic relationship dynamics all over the world.
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