Silence is so powerful. Once we get past the discomfort of the silence, silence is by far more powerful than anything we can even say, believe it or not, right? So be sure to use it, especially when dealing with someone who lands on the spectrum of destructive narcissism. And we’re looking to communicate as clearly as possible, “you’ve got zero power or influence over me here, buddy”, right? Like you’re wasting your time. This is not a yummy target, this is not going to go well for you. Not giving my power away today, right? When that is the message that we want to send to an individual who thinks it’s a good idea or it might be a good idea to target us, silence is going to make them far more uncomfortable than you can even imagine.
In addition, and where appropriate (this isn’t always going to be appropriate or work for you), you can say something like, “cool” or “okay” or “I’m okay with that”or “that’s fine with me”, or one of my personal favorites, “I don’t care”, and silence. Not another word, let it land. If you’re feeling brave, you can also say something like, “yeah, that’s not going to happen”, and silence. Watch the narcissist become completely unraveled when they realize they are fully, entirely powerless over you.
This is how we shut down a narcissist permanently. You start communicating like this, carrying that detached, flat-line, couldn’t give a flying bleep kind of energy and communicating in this fashion. Letting the silence be what it is. Pretty soon, they have to go find someone else to play with and you’re left alone in peace to get on with your happy, healthy, productive life, to start moving in the direction of a much better life without all the nonsense that they bring to the table, right?
Another option will be, of course, to go for good old-fashioned silence right out of the gate, right from the get-go. And I don’t mean in a passive-aggressive way, like a covert narcissist would, that’s not what I mean. I mean, in a way—and this is all about the energy that you carry, by the way—but in a way that says, “I am boundaried. I am not easy prey. I’m not a good target”, in a way that communicates you’re bulletproof, unshakeable.
What happens when you stop paying attention to a narcissist
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