Do not, under any circumstances, react to their provocations. You want to deal with them like it’s a business transaction, no matter who they are. There is no room for emotion if your goal is to actually shut them down permanently. You want to stay calm, cool, and collected, no matter what it takes. Make a conscious effort to focus on your breath. Stay in your body and remain completely non-reactive. In other words, underreact to the best of your ability.
confidant, No matter how much of a performance you have to muster, you can do this. You can actually overreact or vent or freak out or whatever it is you need to do to express your anger, hurt, and frustration later on when you’re by yourself or with a trusted friend or confidant or with
“Fine, you’re entitled to think that, you’re entitled to see it that way, you’re entitled to feel that way”. When you do that, when you don’t engage and get sucked into the toxic vortex, they’re literally starved for their hit of narcissistic supply, and it doesn’t take very long before they realize you’re not a good source of narcissistic supply.
So, in so much as you are able, like I said, detached, hang back, don’t get sucked in, hold onto yourself and keep it in the “I language” if you have to communicate with these people, either the “I language” or the “we language”. It’s so easy when we’re engaged in, the frustrating nonsensical mind-bending, crazy-making conversations with these folks to go into you, you, you, you, you. Like they really inspire that in us, but that’s not helpful and it’s certainly not going to help you shut them down permanently.
any safe person in your support system.
Again, if you want to successfully shut this creature down, whatever you do, you’re going to have to find a way to remain cold, detached, and unfeeling. You know, just like they are.
2. Think counter-intuitive.
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