Once you’ve passed that stage, you may experience desperate hoovering. In some cases, there might be silence, which is a passive-aggressive form of behavior. However, if they do attempt to hoover you, it will be a flood of promises and affection, trying to be the person you always wanted them to be. They might even apologize for the first time in their lives, but it’s all a tactic to pull you back into their cycle.
You might wonder why they would try to hoover you. The reason is not that they realize the error of their ways; it’s not about getting you back into a healthy dynamic. Remember, you were giving the narcissist something of value, whether big or small, and they want more of it. They attempt to hoover you back into the dynamic because they need your validation, but this is not genuine change.
They will offer manipulative gestures or attempts to appeal to your emotions, presenting a version of themselves that you have always wanted. This can cause cognitive distortion because you have longed for this behavior, which they purposefully withheld until now.
Playing the Victim
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
