Threatening divorce or threatening to leave a relationship and not doing it is actually a form of gaslighting. It’s a way to keep the other person on their toes so they fall in line with you because they think that, ‘Oh, if I don’t fall in line with them, they’re going to get up and leave.’ So, it’s not an uncommon gambit by a narcissist.
Well, here’s where it gets interesting. More often than you would know, the person in a narcissistically abusive marriage, especially the one who doesn’t want to get divorced, will hear this threat over and over again — ‘Oh yeah, I’m going to divorce you; I’m going to call an attorney; I’m out of here.’ You, the non-narcissist, like, ‘I don’t want this to happen, okay, okay, what do I need to do?’ One day, ‘I’m done.’
You, ‘You want a divorce? Sounds great, I’ll give you one.’
Then the narcissist will often say, ‘I didn’t mean that; we could work on this.’ Boom, the abandonment script got activated. As long as they were running the narrative, they were the one who could threaten divorce. Especially when they realized you didn’t want it. But the day you give in and say, ‘Great, you want a divorce, I’m all in, let’s call this done,’ it is amazing how often the narcissist will say, ‘What do you mean?’
5 Signs God is Showing You The Narcissist
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