They didn’t anticipate becoming dependent on your supply source. This dependence is their own failing. Their strategy is to make you feel jealous, hurt, and vulnerable, then attempt to re-engage with indirect hoovers or “temperament checks” to gauge your continued interest. Many people are deceived by the facade that individuals exhibiting narcissistic traits project. However, it’s crucial to recognize that this is a carefully constructed illusion.
The fact that many experience hoovers after significant periods highlights the persistent nature of these individuals. Even if you haven’t received a hoover, it doesn’t mean they aren’t thinking about you; they may recognize that a hoover would be ineffective given your strong boundaries or your lack of interest. Alternatively, they may be monitoring your social media and perceiving continued interest, thus eliminating the need for a direct hoover.
A hoover is essentially a temperament check. If they know you’re still interested, they gain supply from your continued attention, even from a distance. They will observe your social media and maintain a passive presence. When they realize you’ve genuinely moved on, they begin to panic. Their new supply sources are often inadequate, and the realization that you are healing and thriving triggers alarm bells. This panic is a significant factor in their subsequent actions.
They will resort to covert surveillance, using fake profiles to monitor your activities and gather information. They may engage with you anonymously, attempting to glean insights without revealing their identity. It’s plausible that some of your social media contacts are actually them operating under false pretenses. Their primary objective is to project an image of a perfect, fulfilling life. If they can convince you, their friends, family, and associates that they are thriving, they will feel a sense of satisfaction, even if their new relationship lacks genuine emotional connection.
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