10. They Are Setting the Stage for Later Manipulation
Narcissists hurt your feelings and then make it sound like they’re doing you a favor. What feels like coldness in the moment is actually the opening act for some next-level manipulation later. They’ll reframe their behavior as thoughtful. As Dr. George Simon points out in his book In Sheep’s Clothing, manipulators often hide their aggression behind reasonable explanations. So when they act distant during your big day and you finally call it out, they say things like, “You look so stressed; I figured I’d stay out of the way.” It’s sneaky because it sounds kind, but it leaves you questioning your own reaction. That’s the trick: they keep the upper hand by rewriting the script and making you feel like the one who misread the scene.
At the end of the day, a narcissist’s coldness during important moments is more about their own insecurities than anything you’ve done wrong. It’s their way of maintaining control or avoiding feeling vulnerable. Remember, you deserve to have your moments of joy and celebration. Don’t let their emotional shutdowns steal that from you.
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