When you call narcissists out, instead of owning up or having a mature conversation, they hit you with silence, as if your words don’t even deserve a response. It’s not just rude; it’s strategic. By saying nothing, they dodge blame and flip the script, making you feel like the problem. As clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula explains in her book Should I Stay or Should I Go, the silent treatment is the narcissist’s way of refusing to participate in reality—especially when that reality doesn’t paint them as perfect. They avoid accountability the same way a cat avoids bath time—with claws out and a dramatic exit.
3. Weaponizing Ambiguity
Narcissists love to mess with your head by using silence to create confusion. When they shut down and say nothing, your brain goes into overdrive, trying to figure out what’s wrong. Did you upset them? Are they punishing you? Are they leaving? It’s like emotional roulette, and it drains your energy. According to Dr. George Simon, author of In Sheep’s Clothing, covert manipulators use ambiguity to maintain control without getting their hands dirty. They keep you guessing, so you stay anxious and off-balance. While you’re spiraling, they’re silently watching, enjoying the power trip.
4. Testing Your Loyalty
When narcissists go silent, they’re watching to see if you’ll chase them, apologize for things you didn’t do, or beg for their attention. As Shahida Arabi, a published researcher on narcissism, writes in her book Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare, the silent treatment is a form of emotional blackmail designed to make victims feel insecure, desperate, and eager to please. In other words, it’s not just silence; it’s manipulation dressed in quiet. They want to see how far they can push you before you break. If you keep coming back, they know they have control over you, like you’re their puppet. It becomes a twisted test: if you chase them, you pass; if you stand your ground, they see it as a threat to their control. Either way, it’s all about power, not resolution.
5. Projecting Superiority
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