The answer is a hard no. No one truly gets used to being harmed or betrayed. We get hurt each time. If you’ve been insulted a thousand times, the thousand-and-first still hurts. It may not have the same shock as the first time or even the first hundred times, but it still stings. This is a core issue for survivors of narcissistic relationships, many of whom ask, “Why can’t I just get used to it?”
Radical acceptance, although central to healing from narcissistic relationships, raises a lot of other questions. Many people hope that if they fully accept that the narcissist won’t change, they’ll be less bothered by the behavior. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works. Radical acceptance helps you stop blaming yourself and feel less surprised by their actions. It gives you clarity to make decisions, but it doesn’t make the abuse easier to bear. No one ever truly gets used to being abused.
Over time, many of you reading this may have grown up with narcissistic parents or been in long-term relationships with narcissistic partners. Some of you are still in contact with these people, and some of you have worked with narcissistic colleagues or bosses for years. You may have accepted the situation or are still working on it—it’s not easy. Some of you have reached the point where you’re no longer trauma-bonded but are clear on what you’re dealing with. You may just be waiting for the day when you no longer have to deal with that person.
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