This obsessive behavior often manifests in alarming ways. Many narcissists engage in stalking or compulsively monitor their ex-partners long after the relationship ends. Social media has made this even easier.
They may not contact you directly, but they might stalk your accounts or use mutual friends to keep tabs on you. This behavior isn’t about reestablishing a connection—it’s about control.
For some narcissists, the obsession remains internal. They ruminate on past interactions, replaying conversations or strategizing ways to regain power. Everything is a game to a narcissist, and they need to feel like they’re always winning.
Real-Life Examples
In a support group for victims of narcissistic abuse, one woman shared how her narcissistic ex-husband reappeared in her life after she started dating someone new. “He pretended not to care for months after the divorce,” she said. “But as soon as he realized I was happy, he started texting, calling, and trying to make me feel guilty.”
In another case, a man discovered that his narcissistic ex-girlfriend had been stalking his social media using a friend’s account—even though she had ended the relationship.
Narcissists also keep their past relationships alive in new ones. They might badmouth you to their new partner, playing the victim to gain sympathy. This allows them to maintain a psychological connection with you while ensuring their new partner doesn’t suspect their true motives.
Conclusion
A narcissist’s obsession with their exes isn’t about love or genuine feelings. It’s rooted in their need for validation, control, and superiority. They never truly let go because they rely on others to prop up their fragile egos.
Recognizing this behavior is crucial for breaking free from a narcissist’s grip and regaining control over your own life.
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