Most people will tell you it was because of your codependency or unresolved childhood trauma that you ended up with a narcissist; that you were broken, that you lacked boundaries, that you should have known better. But I believe the opposite: childhood trauma is not the reason why the narcissist targeted you. They did not prey upon you because of your weaknesses; they trapped you because of your strengths, your capabilities, your essence. And that’s exactly what made you their favorite.
Trait 1: Sacred Commitment
You are deeply committed, and your commitment is sacred to you. You do not walk away at the first sign of trouble; you hold on, you fight for what matters. You take your values very seriously, especially the value of commitment—whether in work, relationships, goals, or healing. That is exactly why the narcissist kept pulling you back in. You were not addicted to chaos like them. Indeed, there was an aspect of trauma bonding playing a role, but that’s not the whole story. You were loyal to what you thought was love. You believed that if you just tried harder, communicated better, stayed a little longer, or loved a little deeper, you would eventually find peace. But what you did not realize was that your strength—your capacity to hold on and work through pain—was being weaponized against you.
I want you to hear this: this commitment is not a flaw; it is a spiritual gift. It means you are capable of sacred devotion, but it must be offered to someone who can match your integrity—not someone who uses it against you.
Trait 2: Belief in Goodness
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