So again, I know this is one that most of you have dealt with. I want to highlight a comment from one of you who’s been there just to drive home the point that you are not alone: ‘I remember my ex always being overly friendly in public. He would be so completely fake and nice to perfect strangers. I remember thinking, “This isn’t really him at all.”‘ And if you can relate to that, to feeling like you’re dealing with two different people, like a little Jekyll and Hyde situation, hit that like button now. And let’s look at one more comment that takes this a little bit deeper: ‘I’ve seen my ex make out with his best friend’s wife, take advantage of a drunk friend of mine, say horrible things about his own mother, steal from work, and assault a cab driver, only to leave me in the car while he fled the scene twice. Anyone who meets him, however, thinks he’s harmless, if not a little goofy. This is the most obvious display of duplicity I have ever encountered. Utterly confounding.’
So now let’s get back to another cowardly tactic that we haven’t talked about on this channel for quite some time, and this is the art of indirect insults. A covert narcissist indirectly makes fun of someone. So this can be done, kind of like we just talked about in the smear campaign, when they’re not there to defend themselves. Or it could be one of those cases where it’s like, ‘The greatest truths are said in jest.’ So essentially, they’re insulting you. Maybe they have a funny nickname that they think is funny, but it’s actually really insulting to you. And maybe you’ve told them that, and they just keep on going. And they’ll go on with jokes like this in public, in front of other people, even after you’ve told them it embarrasses you. And if you continue to try to get them to stop, they’re going to make you feel small and make you feel like you’re making a big deal out of nothing, right? Because, you know, after all, it was just a joke. You don’t have to get so serious. So many people do this, not just narcissists. But this is a go-to move for the covert narcissist because it is a very cowardly way to tear you down. They absolutely don’t have to take responsibility or accountability for their behavior. And if you’ve dealt with this, I know you know how it feels and how you can be made to feel like you’re the problem because you can’t let go even though they were just joking. But here’s the thing: people like this rarely can take such jokes when they’re directed back at them. They can dish it out, but they can’t take it. And if you know someone like this, let’s hear about it in the comments. And since we’re talking about jokes, I want to share one of my favorite jokes about narcissism because we could have a little fun too, can’t we? How many narcissists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, that’s a trick question, isn’t it? Because narcissists exclusively use gaslighting,.
The first way is super common, and again, not only narcissists do this, but this is a go-to move for the cowardly covert narcissist. And it is sharing cryptic messages on social media where everyone knows exactly who you’re talking about, but you don’t say it. And really, this is just to avoid responsibility and accountability because a person who will do this, if someone stands up to them, will sit back and say, “Oh, well, actually, that wasn’t about you, but you must have a guilty conscience.” I haven’t gotten caught up in this personally, but I’ve seen it play out online so many times where the person who posted the cryptic message will deny what are probably their actual reasons for posting it without actually ever sharing what their reasons for posting it were. And for the second cowardly way that covert narcissists use social media, I’m going to start by letting this comment do the talking: ‘She divorced me on Facebook. What a coward! So this is an interesting one, and it seems very specific, but I can absolutely see a covert narcissist doing this over and over again. And that is changing their relationship status on Facebook or wherever without actually talking about it. That’s not how you break up with someone. That is worse than breaking up with someone over text.
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