A person needs to be adaptable to a certain extent; they need to be accepting of others to coexist peacefully with their families and with their partners, because nobody is perfect. Yet the narcissist seeks perfection in every other person they meet, which is why their constant urge to devalue others takes the driver’s seat. They cannot form true connections because nobody is ideal in their mind. They initially idealize you or other people, but when they see that human element in you, you are equalized to trash. The truth no narcissist will easily accept is that they feel small within—extremely small. They see themselves as trash; they think you are. They are quite rigid and perfectionists, which is not to say every perfectionist is a narcissist, but every narcissist is a perfectionist in one way or another. Their expectations of you are crazy, wild, bizarre, and unachievable. People say it feels like the goal is always moving. You do not know where you’re supposed to hit, and when you get an idea—okay, that is what I’m supposed to target—and you hit it, it’s still not enough. Now there’s something else coming up for you. This lack of appreciation and adaptability makes a narcissist extremely fragile. Situations decide and impact their internal state. So as much as they like to believe they’re omnipotent, they’re not. They are weaker than anybody else you can imagine because one small change in things and you see a narcissist raging, in reality, falling apart.
The third thing they lack is authenticity.
A narcissist cannot, by nature, be authentic because what is a narcissist essentially? Nothing but a false self, a false construct they have made up, and that’s based on lies. They think they are someone that they are not, so their reality and their fantasy are completely different. If a person is living that way, how can they be authentic? They change their persona depending on the person they are interacting with and on the purpose, depending on what they want out of that interaction. They are shape-shifters, they are chameleons, they are dementors, and they are basically shadows. They are people like you and me with no souls, and that is the difference. They do not have genuine likes or dislikes; they only copy other people’s likes and dislikes because they know that by disliking a certain thing, they’ll be able to garner supply and be appreciated. They know that by liking a certain group of people or certain things, they will be able to create a sense of superior belonging, and they’ll be able to get validation from other people. It’s all a toxic mind game a narcissist is always playing with himself or herself. They’re stuck in this trap of getting constant validation, and that is such an inauthentic way of living. They do not have any character; they do not have any set of values. They’re driven by the desire to manipulate and exploit people. And someone who is living that way, how can they be genuine?
6 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact
Life quality number four: They do not have independence.
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
