A characteristic trait in the relationship between a narcissistic parent and their children is the conditionality of affection. A parent is supposed to show unconditional positive regard towards their children. This does not mean unconditional enabling, of course. It just means accepting the child for who they are. However, the love of a narcissistic parent is very conditional. It is transactional and performance-based. You are only seen as deserving of their love if you meet their expectations. If not, you are devalued and eventually discarded. Love and attention are often contingent on the child’s ability to reflect positively on the parent.
5. They Utilize Children as Leverage
A narcissistic parent uses their children as pawns to manipulate situations or individuals. Children are placed in the center of adult issues; they become the therapist, the mediator, the one who carries a burden they do not have the capacity to carry. They may use you as a pawn against the other parent. If both parents are narcissists, you are trapped in a hell because you do not have anyone. They may use you to punish the other parent. In most cases, you do not know you are being used until it’s too late, when the damage is already done. They use you to gain the upper hand in situations, to display to the public, and to boost their own glory.
6. You Are Used to Display a Perfect Family Image
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
