They are not facing reality or their feelings of shame. Most of their waking hours are spent trying to distract themselves from their sad, lonely, empty, shameful inner reality by using others to maintain their delusional fantasies. If you are constantly seeking supply to uphold your fragile ego, if your entire self-image relies on external validation, then narcissistic personality disorder is a possibility. But it’s not the only possibility. If you suspect you may have NPD, consider reaching out to a mental health therapist who specializes in this disorder and can help you manage your symptoms, regulate your emotions, and give you better coping strategies to deal with feelings of shame, as well as help you manage your relationships better.
Unfortunately, narcissists are typically the last ones to acknowledge their flaws, mistakes, or shortcomings. When faced with criticism or evidence of their harmful behaviors, they raise their defenses even higher, deflect, blame, and distort reality to protect their ego. Then they go out and find people to reinforce their false self-image and twisted narratives. They are experts at finding people to support and enable them in justifying and rationalizing their bad behaviors, unable to ever truly confront themselves and deal with the shame that’s at the root of their recurring problems.
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