They get to sit back and play the victim, claiming you’re the one causing the issues. This is classic triangulation. When they manipulate situations to make you look like the bad guy, it can start to mess with your sense of reality. You might start questioning yourself, feeling confused, and wondering if you are the one at fault—this is exactly what the narcissist wants. They want you off-balance and doubting yourself.
Now, let’s talk about some subtle examples of triangulation that you might not even realize are happening, especially when it comes to covert narcissists. These people are experts at being subtle, so their manipulation can fly under the radar.
One way this shows up is through comparison. For example, a narcissist might say something like, “You know, so-and-so is so good at handling these situations,” or, “I wish you were more like them in this area.” This subtle comparison makes you feel less than and creates insecurity within you. It can also drive a wedge between you and the person being compared to, especially if you start feeling like you need to compete with them for the narcissist’s approval.
Another subtle form of triangulation is gossip. The narcissist may talk badly about someone else behind their back to you, trying to make you see them in a negative light. But here’s the tricky part—they could also be doing the same thing to the other person, talking negatively about you. The goal is to pit you against each other, causing mistrust and division while they sit back and maintain control over the situation.
Another common situation is when a narcissist is overly complimentary or affectionate toward someone else in front of you, making you feel insecure or jealous. They might do this with a romantic partner, family member, or friend. It’s a way of triangulating your feelings by stirring up insecurity and doubt, making you feel like you’re not good enough or not as important.
So, if any of this sounds familiar to you, you might be wondering, “What can I do to protect myself?” Well, let’s get into some tips that can help if you feel like you’re being manipulated through triangulation.
1. Awareness
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