Fragile Yet Charming One of the most confusing aspects of a covert narcissist is their ability to appear both fragile and charming. Initially, they may come across as sweet, insecure, or even vulnerable. You might find yourself thinking, “What a nice person.” However, this charm often hides a more manipulative nature. They use this fragile persona to evoke sympathy and draw people into their web, subtly undermining the confidence of those around them over time.
Backhanded Compliments A hallmark of covert narcissism is the use of backhanded compliments. These are comments that seem positive but leave you feeling uneasy or insulted. For instance, a covert narcissist might say, “You look great today! I was worried about you last time I saw you.” This type of comment plants doubt in your mind about your appearance or well-being without appearing overtly malicious. Over time, these subtle digs erode your self-esteem, making you question your worth.
A Contradictory Public Image Covert narcissists often present a drastically different public image compared to their private behavior. In public, they might declare, “I never gossip,” while in private, they eagerly spread rumors and put others down. This discrepancy can make it difficult for close friends or family members to find support, as outsiders may only see the “nice” public persona, leaving the victim feeling isolated and confused.
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