How does this happen?
If you discard a narcissist before they discard you, it can affect them deeply, potentially for the rest of their life. You’ve robbed them of the opportunity to take everything they wanted from you. They lost the chance to completely break you mentally, physically, and spiritually. To the narcissist, you’re now “unfinished business”—the one who got away too soon.
This puts the narcissist in a dilemma. They must decide how to deal with you.
- Should they try to win you back?
- Should they attempt to destroy you?
- Or should they wait for months or even years and return when it suits them?
No matter their choice, one thing is certain: they won’t be able to forget you. Whether they try to get you back, hurt you, or leave you for a while, you’ve become their obsession. The narcissist won’t rest until they regain the upper hand.
For narcissists, it’s all about control. When you discard them, you take away that control, and they don’t know how to handle it. They always want to be in charge—not just of the relationship dynamics but also of when and how it ends.
A narcissist doesn’t care about your needs or how they hurt you. In fact, the more broken and hurt you are, the better it is for them. Their objective is to leave the relationship on their terms, having taken everything from you and leaving you at your lowest.
When this doesn’t happen, the narcissist won’t let it go. That’s why maintaining no contact is critical in situations like this. Cutting all ties with the narcissist—blocking them on all platforms and avoiding any connection—is the only way to minimize the drama that follows.
What Happens When You Discard a Narcissist First?
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