When you discard a narcissist, they lose control over you—a control they weren’t ready to relinquish. This loss triggers a reaction. If you remain in the same social circles or the narcissist still has access to you, everything they do will be aimed at provoking a reaction from you.
Even if they appear unbothered and move on to new sources of supply, this behavior is often calculated to elicit a reaction. Whether their actions make you angry or sad, the goal is to make you feel bad. Narcissists thrive on making you feel small, indirectly hurting you by ensuring you hear or see what they’re up to.
This is why emotional detachment is so important, especially if no contact isn’t feasible. When you discard a narcissist, it’s essential to cut all ties or become emotionally detached so that their actions no longer affect you. Otherwise, you’ll remain their obsession.
Why Closure Doesn’t Help
Even if you try to give the narcissist closure and explain why you’re leaving, it won’t make a difference. They won’t take accountability, and no explanation will ever be good enough. In the narcissist’s mind, no one has the right to leave them—only they hold that power.
If they convince you to return, it’s only so they can discard you later, regaining control. It’s always about control.
Conclusion
Discarding a narcissist first guarantees that you’ll be unforgettable to them. They’ll constantly think about you, ruminate over what they could have done differently, and view you as “the one who got away.
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