Now, the truth is, narcissists don’t go after riff-raff. You can be sure that if you’ve been pursued by a destructive narcissist for anything more than a one-night stand, it’s because you bring a lot of good things to the table. At the very least, you’re someone who, in their mind, makes them look good in some way, and that’s true for any relationship, not just romantic ones.
With that in mind, when the narcissist is faced with the reality of what they’ve lost by losing you, you can expect them to begin using hoovering tactics in an attempt to suck you back into the abuse cycle. In fact, you can count on this happening.
Being prepared in advance is what will save you a world of pain, drama, and trauma when the time comes. And here’s the thing, friends: there’s no time limit or expiration date on the narcissistic hoover. Personally, I’ve experienced hoovering attempts after a decade or more of no contact with several destructive narcissists from my past. They can be relentless.
So, when this happens, don’t be flattered. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them trying to get their own sick needs met through you, at your expense. Nothing more. Once they have you back where they want you, and the forbidden fruit effect wears off, you can expect another round of what we call the toxic abuse cycle.
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