None of this comes easy to people with narcissistic personalities, and so for some of you, you have, some of you, many of you didn’t have early secure attachments, but you have been able to do the hard psychological work of helping yourself as an adult feel safer in the world. For a narcissistic individual, though, that is highly, highly unlikely. There will always be this sense of threat.
Remember something I’ve said throughout these articles— think of the narcissistic individual as somebody who feels a constant sense of threat from the world. They always feel like something is coming at them, right? And even when there’s nothing coming at them, part of it is sort of what they’re saying to themselves in their own head, and abandonment is pretty high on that list of threats.
A person with a narcissistic personality style feels a great example of this would be some of you who’ve been in narcissistic marriages. You yourself would say, ‘I don’t want to get divorced; I don’t believe in divorce; I want to stay married; I have to stay married; we have kids together; our money is like this; it’s my culture; it’s my religion,’ whatever your reasons are, you don’t want a divorce. You’re in a narcissistically abusive marriage, and one day, you finally — you can’t take it anymore. But in your relationship throughout the relationship, something that is not unusual in a narcissistic marriage is that the narcissistic partner will threaten divorce.
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