Why EVERY Covert Narcissist Uses the Exact Same Tactics
And they’ll say things like, “After everything I’ve done for you, this is how you repay me.” Or, “You know what? I was there for you when no one else was. I supported you through your hardest times. Now you can’t even do this one little thing for me.”
Meanwhile, the things they did for you versus the things they’re asking you to do for them are really not evenly set.
So then emotional support becomes their biggest weapon—because they were there for you during vulnerable moments. They listened when you were struggling and offered comfort when you needed it. But they were also creating leverage.
Every moment of support was an investment in future control. And this is why it feels so impossible to leave or set boundaries with them. They’ve created this narrative where you owe them your loyalty, compliance, and gratitude.
And if you try to protect yourself or prioritize your own needs, you’re ungrateful. You’re selfish, or you’re someone who takes and never gives back.
So, the next thing covert narcissists do is emotional expression monitoring. They train you to suppress and pre-screen everything you express through unpredictable reactions to your emotions.
So sometimes when you’re happy, they’re supportive. Other times, they seem irritated by your excitement. And sometimes when you’re sad, they comfort you. Other times, they get frustrated and tell you to stop being so negative.
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