10 Things Narcissists Say When They’re Losing Control
So if you’re hearing this, please understand it’s a manipulation tactic. They’re desperately trying to regain control over you, and they’re using other people to do it. They’re trying to make it seem like other people will be against you—or already are.
But that’s not necessarily the truth. Even if it were the truth, you still have to ask yourself: is staying in this relationship worth it to you?
Because people were against you while you were in the relationship—and maybe they’ll be against you afterwards. Sure, maybe you can start having conversations about what was really going on.
The only way things are going to change is if things change. So it’s a personal choice that everyone has to make for themselves. Every situation is different, but make sure you’re weighing your options.
Another thing you might hear a narcissist say when they’re losing control is: “You’re going to regret this.” This usually comes out when the old tactics aren’t working anymore. Maybe you’ve stopped arguing and explaining yourself. If they can’t get to you, that’s a clear sign they’re losing control—and this is when they start panicking.
Now they’re trying to make you panic by planting fear about the future. Depending on the situation, they might imply that you’ll regret leaving or that you’ll regret standing up for yourself. They’ll tell you you’re going to regret ruining a good thing.
And when you’re too close to all of this, it can absolutely work. You may start questioning yourself. But if you step back and look at things objectively, you’ll realize none of this comes from a place of love. It’s all about control.
I want to add a quick disclaimer here. If you’re in a situation where “you’re going to regret this” is a very physical and very real threat to your safety, this is something you need to take seriously—and you should do what you can to keep yourself safe.
So all these phrases are what happens when you’re still in it, and the narcissist starts to see signs—the writing on the wall that they’re losing control. Unfortunately, all too often, these phrases and these manipulation tactics pull you back in little by little. It usually becomes a tug-of-war before people are really ready to leave.
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