The Scary Signs of Agoraphobia After Narcissistic Abuse
You may already know that the prefrontal cortex, responsible for rational thinking, gets hijacked by these fear responses. This creates a perfect storm where logical thinking becomes nearly impossible, and you feel paralyzed.
Now, why am I explaining this to you? You will understand it in a minute. But here’s a hint: I want you to fully know that you’re not making this up. It’s not in your head. And you’re not broken. You’re actually struggling with something that’s beyond your control.
A lot of survivors, unfortunately, get told that it’s their social anxiety. In truth, it’s one of the major trauma responses that you get shamed for—which is unfortunate.
The minute you think about going to an event or a social gathering, what happens? You feel stuck, frozen. You feel like you can’t move. You can’t function. You can’t do anything at all. You start believing you have some sort of disorder, that you’re broken beyond repair, or that you’re just naturally shy or introverted. But that’s not the case in this context. It’s your nervous system perceiving leaving as a massive threat.
Personal Story of Isolation and Bullying
This is exactly what happened in my case. This is my story.
As a child, I spent most of my time confined to the home. Because of this, people would call me all sorts of names—my own family included. I would not go out and play with other kids. No, I would not go out and explore the world. Everyone thought I was shy. They thought I was lazy. They said it was deliberate. They thought I was a coward. But I was not.
Nobody knew that both worlds—inside and outside my home—were different parts of hell. For me, the only difference was that the inside of my home was a familiar hell that I knew how to navigate. I could find corners to hide in. But outside it was extremely unpredictable.
You may ask, what made it so unpredictable? The answer is extreme bullying.
I had not only been subjected to narcissistic abuse at home, but I also experienced the worst form of bullying one could face outside. When I forced to take my mother back after a separation of 7–8 years, I was suddenly dropped into a community that didn’t accept me. I wanted to belong, but they didn’t. They rejected me—and kept doing so.
Why? Because I was the one with different mannerisms and customs.
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