The Scary Signs of Agoraphobia After Narcissistic Abuse

Now, you may wonder: how did I heal this? Or what can you do to heal this if you’re struggling with the same problem?

Well, the key lies in controlled exposure to social situations while respecting your capacity. It’s called expanding your window of tolerance.

In my case, I started talking to people gradually. For example, when I started doing this work, I would talk to one new person every day. Then, maybe once a week, I would challenge myself a little bit more. This is how I increased my capacity for socializing.

The most important thing I did was regulate my nervous system.

If you’re familiar with my work, you may already know about the “wet noodle” technique. Basically, it’s about becoming a wet noodle in moments when you are exposed to extreme stress. When you get triggered, you just relax your body and imagine you have no bones whatsoever. Let those muscles drop, drop your shoulders, relax your jaw, and breathe.

If you remember to breathe, you will reclaim your power, and suddenly you will start thinking again.

It felt like magic when I did it for the first time in my own healing work—in my own therapy. You just have to calibrate your approach. You have to know where you are, where you want to be, and how to bridge that gap using nervous system regulation techniques.

Ask yourself questions like:

• Where do I begin?
• What do I begin with?
• Who do I begin with?
• How much can I handle right now?

Then start small and build gradually. Maybe it’s making eye contact with one person at the grocery store. Maybe it’s saying hello to a neighbor. Maybe it’s joining one online community where you can feel safe and build the experience of gradual exposure.

You can become part of my Thrive After Narcissistic Abuse membership program, where we have a thriving community of survivors like you who can connect with each other. There are monthly Q&As, a lot of sessions where you can talk to each other, and meetups. That’s how you can overcome this anxiety in a safe way.

That’s just one way of doing it. Right now, it’s not open for enrollment, but you can get on a waiting list, and you will be notified first when it opens.

Final Thoughts

But remember: your reluctance to leave home is not your weakness. It’s your mind’s attempt to protect you based on past experiences.

But you don’t have to stay trapped in that protective response forever. With understanding, patience, compassion, and gradual exposure that respects your limits, you can reclaim your freedom to move through the world without constant fear.

You are not broken. These are my words. Take them. Embody them.

You’re not lazy. You’re not naturally antisocial. You’re a survivor who developed a completely biologically correct, rational response to irrational treatment—and that response can be healed one step at a time.

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