When You Vanish On the Covert Narcissist…They Do THIS
But if they’re blocked, one way they might hoover you is by reaching out to family and friends. Yes, some narcissists do that. Not only will they do that, but they may also use “flying monkeys” to reach out to you and test the waters. They want to know how you’re doing and where your head’s at. They want to feel out the situation so they can report back to the narcissist and figure out whether they can come back and contact you again.
So when you vanish on the narcissist, don’t be surprised if one of their flying monkeys—homeboy, homegirl, or even their mother—reaches out and says, “Are you okay? Is everything okay?” The flying monkey will pretend it’s from a place of concern, like, “Is everything good with you? How have you been?” They’re trying to get information so they can report back.
In general, when you vanish on the narcissist, they’ll know you’re fed up with their nonsense and that you’re backing off. Or they’ll assume you have somebody else—or that someone is in your ear supporting you, making you strong, telling you to walk away.
The rule is this: narcissists usually never want to lose any supply. They always want their options. So although you may pull back from them and they won’t want to chase you because of their pride, over time, if you’re an A-grade supply, they will circle around and try to reel you back in.
If you were a backup supply, then they may not chase you. They’ll move on to another supply, then another, and then another—because in their minds, you’re replaceable.
But if you were truly good to that narcissist and you gave them something they can’t get anywhere else, it will affect them. It will definitely affect them.
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