5 Reasons Why a Narcissist Likes It When You Lose It
Narcissists complain and cry all day about your so-called “crazy” nature, but in reality, they enjoy it when you lose control. They take pleasure in driving you up the wall and bringing out the worst in you. Why, you may ask? Well, let’s find out in today’s episode.
Reason 1: Sadistic Supply from Your Self-Doubt
Narcissists derive sadistic pleasure from seeing you question yourself. It gives them immense satisfaction when they see you acting in ways that are not aligned with your true personality—when you behave out of character, get angry over trivial issues, yell, or say something you wouldn’t normally say. Of course, you’ll feel guilty, embarrassed, and ashamed of your actions. Naturally, you’ll try to fix the situation by being better or taking responsibility for things you didn’t actually say or do. That’s exactly what they want. They want you to remember the moment you reacted, not the time they started acting abusively.
How does this benefit them? They weaponize this manufactured incongruency against you. What does “manufactured incongruency” mean? It means they manipulate you into acting in ways that contradict your moral values, making you feel ashamed of yourself. Every time you say or do something you promised yourself you wouldn’t, you start criticizing and beating yourself up, over-apologizing, and taking responsibility for fixing the issue. This allows them to avoid responsibility, and no one holds them accountable, leaving you in a constant state of fawning, appeasing the abuser.
Reason 2: Merchants of Chaos and Instability
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