Are they a Narcissist or just Avoidant?? Here’s how to tell…
Then, difficult as it is to hear, they aren’t interested in a healthy relationship with you. They’re the one steering the relationship toward disconnection, even if you’re the only one trying to stop it — and that effort alone can’t hold two people together.
When you start setting boundaries and advocating for your needs, some partners will meet you there, and you can build a mutual plan to unlearn unhealthy patterns together. If they won’t, that doesn’t make them a bad person — but it does make them the wrong partner for you.
That’s a genuinely sad outcome. But you can walk away knowing you did what was possible to move things toward safety and health, even if they weren’t willing to meet you there.
It only takes one person to start changing a relationship for the better — but it takes two for that change to actually create closeness. So do the work. Start healing. Be honest about your needs, even when it’s uncomfortable. Talk about what conflict should look like going forward, and make real agreements.
And if it still doesn’t work out — grieve it. Let yourself feel it fully. But you’ll know you did your part, and you can hope they eventually find their own way to healing too.
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