Unmasking The Narcissist Without Saying a Word
To start, let me give you a very personal example of what I mean.
There was a time in my own life when I was manipulated into silence when I was very young, and then cast in the role of family scapegoat by the dysfunctional family system around me.
And what that trained me to do—without even realizing it—was this: I learned at a very young age not only to abandon myself, but how to manage other people’s feelings. I learned how to swallow the truth to keep the peace and stay safe, relatively. I learned how to be the bigger person and take the high road and forgive over and over and over again, while the emotional and psychological abuse continued.
And then, as an adult, I continued to repeat that same pattern in relationships for a long time. I kept secrets. I softened the truth. I lived in denial. I enabled liars and perpetrators. I cleaned up messes. I allowed bullies to get away with bullying me. And I kept showing up grateful for crumbs.
And all the while, I didn’t understand why nobody else could see it until one day the light went on. I got into recovery, and I finally saw my role in the sick family system—my role in keeping their masks intact. And once that light came on, everything changed.
So, if you’re thinking, “Okay, Tammy, but how do I unmask them without saying a word?”—well, let’s do this the right way, the empowered, emotionally intelligent way.
To start, I’m going to walk you through 10 shifts, and I want you to notice something as we go. Each one pulls your energy away from them and back to you, where it belongs—because that is how you win.
So here’s how this works.
We start with number one: Learn to stay calm and above reproach.
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