Unmasking The Narcissist Without Saying a Word

Why? Because you’re competent. You can usually solve things—hard things. You can usually communicate your way through things. You can usually work harder, show up better, try again, and get a result.

But this dynamic punishes your effort, your competence, and your empathy. The more you try to control people and outcomes—like, “How do I make them stop? How do I make other people see it? How do I get them to understand me? See me?”—the more trapped you become, because you’re pouring energy into something that is designed to siphon your vital life force energy.

So instead, you’re going to practice doing something that might feel terrifying at first. You accept, “I cannot control what I cannot control,” and you let it go, while you consciously move your focus away from controlling them and into leading and taking care of yourself.

And this is where patience comes in, because when you stop trying to make people see the truth, you give them the opportunity to see it for themselves. Whether or not they choose to is up to them. But here’s what I know for sure: the truth tends to take care of itself in time.

Sometimes we just have to get the hell out of God’s way and let that happen—which ties directly to number three: Let the narcissist do what they do best.

Now, this is where the confusion often begins. Hear me: I am not telling you to tolerate abuse. I will never tell you that.

I’m not telling you to stay and be nice, or leave for that matter. What I am saying is something entirely different.

Assuming you’re safe—but you’re in a situation where you keep trying to manage the optics, the fallout, or the narrative—stop.

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